I have a secret. I’m someone who’s building a business off being an “expert” in self-help, and I’ve never read anything by Dr. Wayne Dyer until yesterday. Oh—the shame.
What’s that, you say? You’ve never watched or heard anything from Wayne Dyer either? (Okay, whew.)
Allow me to attempt to break down his five greatest lessons/teachings/wisdom nuggets for you in a quick and easy read— that is by the way—totally skimmable.
Let me start by telling you why I have a bit of shame around not knowing who this dude was.
I’m writing a book on spirituality and self-improvement, and I’m a career coach for women.
So…you’d think I’d know who this New York Times bestselling author, law of attraction expert, and manifestation guru was—but alas, I did not.
Now, let’s jump in to Dr. Dyer’s brilliance, so we can immediately go from having a ho-hum existence to a bright, shiny, awakened experience.
Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.
M’kay, but what does that really mean? Here’s my take on it—if we look at everything that happens today as things happening to us, we are more apt to get pissed off when we get a speeding ticket, our kid shits their pants just as we pull out of the driveway, we get stuck behind the grandma in the TSA line who has no business being there, etc.
Our first instinct may be to think: for fuck’s sake, why is this happening to me today?! But Dyer implores us to tap into our inner Deepak and see the events as things happening for us. I know this may feel like a stretch at first, but if we put on our rose-colored glasses and see the upside of these events, we can feel like we have a sliver of control over our lives through acceptance.
Because here’s the truth: each shitty thing that happened made us slow down. Maybe if we hadn’t been forced to slow down in traffic, we would’ve gotten into a car accident or bumped into someone running through the airport and spilled our piping-hot Starbucks. If our kids hadn’t shat themselves, maybe they would’ve gotten so damn constipated that we had to take them to the ER the next week. See where I'm going with this?
There are no justified resentments—abusers, people who walked out on you, cheated on you, hurt you—those resentments will always harm you and create a sense of despair within you.
Dyer uses the example of a snakebite. He explains that no one in history has ever died from the actual snake bite; it’s the venom that courses through the body that kills us. The resentment we hold is that poison. Blame and hatred is that poison.
Let’s apply this to everyday situations, shall we? Imagine a coworker has taken a bit too much credit for a project that we over-contributed to. Now this chic/dude is waltzing around taking all the “atta-boys” for something they barely touched. Dyer teaches us to let that shit go—it’s poison and you don’t have any time to be sitting around letting some petty toxic shit ruin your day, week, or month. You implore, “But I’m not going to be a doormat and let someone disrespect me!”
I hear ya and agree that the coworker should be made aware of your displeasure in how they handled the situation, but the goal is to have a calm and collected conversation about expectations of your working relationship. Not gossiping about the bitch for a week to your other coworkers and throwing shade at them in front of your boss—and then finally having the conversation once things have gotten so tense that it’s affecting your work.
What you think is what you become.
Dyer goes on, “As You think, so shall you be. Once you understand that what you think about is what expands, you get really careful about what you think about.”
It’s not easy, but as soon as thoughts of negativity start to creep into your mind, try to refocus on gratitude and what you do want to manifest into your life. Are you someone who can’t help but project into the future and imagine doomsday scenarios because you think, if you do, you’ll be able to head them off at the pass? Me too. That’s dangerous AF though because, we’re essentially placing an order to the Universe, and the Universe has a tighter turnaround than Amazon 1-day. Be careful what you think, because that shit will show up on your doorstep—good or bad.
Be open to everything and attached to nothing.
Dyer teaches that “no one knows enough to be a pessimist about anything.” He begs us to never close our minds to what is possible for us; otherwise we close off the genius that is possible.
He says we must open ourselves up to the potential of what is possible and quit looking for reasons to be offended or upset. An open mind is sending the message that we are always willing to change for the better, have abundance wash over us, meet amazing people, get the dream job, or live our best lives. Here’s the catch though—if we don’t get those things, or we get them, but they are fleeting, we have to be cool with that too. No stomping feet and throwing a pity-party, and if you do—reread Principle #1.
Don't die with your music still in you.
“Some of us hear a different drummer, but all of us have music playing. We all have a Purpose and an interconnected intelligence. Too many of us are too afraid to listen to that music, but we all feel something. What if my whole life has been wrong? You know your truth. You know that your music isn’t wrong.”
Guys, if we only take one principle away from what this great master lived his life teaching—it should be this one. We can’t leave this earth with our unlived life still in us. We must take risks, quit our shitty jobs, get out of shitty relationships, move out of our shitty towns, and wake the fuck up. We all have music in our souls, but it takes courage to sing it loudly and not give a damn if anyone else likes it.
Dr. Wayne Dyer left this earth in 2015, after committing his life to helping others live theirs. Let’s take these brilliant principles and start anew. Let’s think to ourselves, “what would Wayne do?” the next time we’re number #561 at the DMV.